Condi's Face

What to buy for someone nice for Newton's Day?

Published on October 16, 2004 By Phil Osborn In Current Events

Nalini of KPFKChat.org submitted a pointer to this little site bashing Bush. Not bad. Want to see something REALLY bizarre?

Take virtually any interview with Condi - say the ones from "Uncovered" - and s l o w i t d o w n . . . on your DVD player. You'll see what I mean. I never knew that a human face could exhibit so many extremes of expression in a period of one-second. Now try playing it backwards - S l o w l y. Watch how she twists her mouth around each syllable. It is REALLY strange... (Wonder where she gets the exercise to be able to move her lips like that?) Anyway, I kind of have the hots for Condi, speaking of twisted...

Hey, I can defend my attraction. I've always wanted a woman companion who was smart, strong-willed, outspoken, honest to a fault, and pretty. So, Condi makes it bigtime on 4 of 5 counts. The downside of a relationship with her would be all the time she would have to spend - comes the revolution - paying restitution to all the millions of victims of the U.S. and particularly the Bush Administration. Too bad I didn't grab her first, before she allowed herself to be sucked into the madness. On the other hand, I'm guessing that the sex would be awesome...

I've been somewhat sensitized to this, as I used to feed my TV news through a capture board on one of my old Amiga computers. I could set it to capture and display one frame per second, with the sound still playing as usual, of course. The interesting thing was that as soon as I went to this mode, I instantly was able to see how and why the camera angles were set up, the flow of the scripting, all kinds of details about the images that you miss because the brain is simply overwhelmed with processing the moving video image.

Converting it to a series of stills allows the brain to dedicate more resources to analyzing and perceiving patterns in the data.

Speaking of patterns, I used the old mirror image trick on the photos of the doctors available for selection when I recently switched groups under Blue Cross. I was down to two, a man and a woman. It probably wasn't fair to the man, as men typically have more differentiation between the two brain hemispheres, but I chose the woman because she looked happy on both sides of her face.

A lot of people will look happy or cheerful on one side and the other side will express anger or rage. A person who is emotionally/mentally well integrated should show about the same expression on both sides. You can do this with a mirror, if you have a straight-on shot, altho a metal mirror works best, as the thickness of the glass gets in the way, or you can plug it into a paint program and cut the image in half, and past together two images, in which the face is reflected. Often what you get is two very different individuals, reflecting the different consciousnesses in the two hemispheres.

Anyway, for a couple of decades, I had had intermittent serious pain that could last for days or weeks in my lower left abdominal area. I could feel a swelling there, and suspected a hernia with strangulation of the intestine. However, it would always subside by the time I could get to the doctor, and it only happened a few times per year. And none of the doctors could ever detect any hernia.

Until now, when my new woman doctor, who I plan to send something really nice around Newton's Day (December 25), told me that she could feel a slight hernia. The specialist who came next also found it, but felt that it was so minor that I could ignore it unless it got worse.

I opted for surgery. The result was that I was found to have a spigelian hernia, which is fairly rare and difficult to diagnose. Most people are not diagnosed until they end up in the ER or dead from a strangulated intestine.

So - what should I get my doctor for Newton's Day? She's very pretty, from Pakistan, don't know marital status or religion or anything else.. Suggestions? I haven't bought any presents for anyone for many years.

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